Saturday, June 24, 2017

Yeah! I know.... don't have to remind me

Yeah!  I'm obese.  I've been obese for the past two decades.  I have a hard time losing weight... first of all because I don't have a lot of discipline...secondly I hate to cook and finally because my heel hurts like hell (Lenoir Spur) if I walk a lot.

Anyway, some people seem to think that by telling me that I'm big and fat that it will motivate me to lose the weight.  I gotta tell you that it hurts ... it hurts a lot in my chest when I hear this.   It's like an arrow that hits my chest and crosses my heart. Yeah! for real! It's not fun to be reminded that you are fat.  Don't you think I see myself naked in front of the mirror....every morning and evening. Don't you think I see myself...even dressed up... walking by a mirror or a store window... 

I FUCKIN' SEE MYSELF!

I see that I'm fat.... I see that I'm large... I see all that.  Why do you have to remind me?
I know you want me to be healthy...you don't want me to get all those crazy illnesses like diabetes, cancer... or even be hit by a stroke.  I get that.  But just stop telling me I'm fat.  It hurts inside like a bad heartbreak.  I cry at night just like when I was heartbroken 10 years ago. 

I just want to be normal............